This post was inspired both by the text that's consumed me for the past three weeks and by a former student of mine. For the sake of privacy, I'll refer to her throughout this post as Melody.
Melody was the tallest girl in the sixth grade this year. She was loud. She had a major in your face personality and she consistently rebelled against traditional gender norms. This past spring, Melody decided to try out for and join the 6th grade boys football team. Her strength and tenacity alone made her a qualified candidate for the team, but it was her gender that gave most people including her peers pause. For the past three months I'd leave my school parking lot and see Melody running and dominating the field with the other boys. I'd always watch and say hi to show her my support. But where I failed Melody was in the school walls. When other students would walk down the hall and scream and Melody, "you act like a boy" or "she's probably gay" or "she's weird. Girls don't play football", I failed her. It was in those very public and private moments that I was left without a language to address her peers or even to affirm melody herself.
And then I started this book. Redefining Realness is one woman's story to womanhood. Janet Mock is a trans-woman, writer, activist, social critic, and die-hard Beyonce fan. In reading her book I began to make connections between her story and mine; between her story and Melody's. Janet's path to womanhood was unconventional. To be born trans means that you do not identify with the sex you were assigned at birth. To be born trans means that you will no doubt have to spend a lifetime explaining to people who want you to fit inside the gender binary box, that the box is not made for you. I walked away from the book with my own personal growth in thinking about sexuality, relationships, and masculinity. But for my students I was also challenged to think about the moments when girls like Melody act outside of what is expected of them what I can do to affirm my students in those moments.
Here are two things I'm planning on doing this year for my students as a result of reading and processing this text:
1. My classroom is will be a safe space for all students from the very first day. I know a lot of us think our classrooms our safe and we never actually take the time to tell the students what we are doing and why. Put up a sign declaring your room as a space for all students regardless of.... (you fill in the blank)
2. Talk openly and honestly about gender with your students. This doesn't have to be a whole lesson or a big production. If you're teaching a math lesson, use an example of a girl or a boy doing something not traditionally expected of that gender. It's simple and the kids will probably think more about the example than the math problem long after class is over.
All of our students are waiting for us to affirm the human beings that they are. They deserve that.
Janet Mock grounds her text in another of my favorite texts, Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neal Hurston. A quote she references that resonated with me as well was the following:
"He drifted off into sleep and Janie looked down on him and felt a self-crushing love. So her soul crawled out from its hiding place."
I challenge you as I have challenged myself to provide "self-crushing" love for your students so that they are empowered live fully and honestly.
-Brandon Lewis
Twitter: @brandonspeak
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